End of the World as We Know It & I Feel Fine
by callmeonetrack
Summary: “Agathon, only you would find a frakking silver lining on a FUBAR.”


Title: It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Kara, Helo  
Disclaimer: Ron D. Moore owns it all.  
Spoilers: Everything up to S4.10 "Revelations"  
Summary: _"Agathon, only you would find a frakking silver lining on a FUBAR."_

She'd been sitting there for hours. The weight of the day had settled onto her shoulders and long after most everyone else had shuffled back to the raptors, Kara lingered on the ashen beach.

A few remained.

Sammy had come to her first, like always. He never hesitated, and she took small comfort in that fact, even now, knowing the truth of him. But she hadn't responded to his pleas. After a while he gave up, and that was like always too. Kara was glad.

Lee had been next, of course. Lee always hesitated, watching her, weighing her, balancing need and want and finding her wanting, like always. She hadn't met his eyes, not caring to see the disappointment there or any of the hundred other emotions she couldn't live up to. He'd placed his faith, small as it was, in her, and she'd led him to this. She wasn't surprised but still felt the burn when he brushed a hand along her shoulders, as he walked away to talk about the future with Roslin and the Old Man.

Leoben lingered the entire time. Close enough but not too close. That was not like always. Usually he crowded her, forced her to face the demons, muttering about streams and rivers and destined paths. Now, he was silent. Kara almost smiled at that bittersweet victory. It figured she'd find the one frakking planet that wasn't even hospitable enough for her ghosts.

Night had fallen by the time a long form folded itself down next to her on the irradiated soil.

"Nice view of the stars from down here."

She flicked a glance sideways, not ready to let go of her irritation just yet. Kara couldn't help looking up though, and damned if he wasn't right. The night sky was as luminescent as it had been years ago in the Tomb of Athena.

"Agathon, only you would find a frakking silver lining on a FUBAR."

Helo winked at her, scooting closer to nudge her shoulder with his own. "So, this is what all the fuss was about, eh?" He looked around the mostly deserted beach and whistled. "Bet Gaeta's really pissed about his leg now."

Kara stared at him, incredulous, even as she felt the corners of her mouth tug up in to a smirk that felt rusty and wrong. "That's not funny."

He shrugged. "You've been moping around here for hours now, Starbuck. Come on back to the Bucket."

She raked her hand through the dirt in front of her, mimicking the admiral's action of hours before. "I can't go back, Helo." She frowned. "I did this."

"You, Kara Thrace, nuked our last shot at paradise?"

She winced. "Maybe." Things were still fuzzy from the six hours—no, _two months_, Kara reminded herself—that she'd been…well, mostly dead.

"I was here," she said, her voice low, her anger gathering speed now. "I was here godsdamnit and it wasn't like this! I saw grass and blue skies and fluffy frakking clouds."

Helo looked at her, unruffled as always, with not a little amusement. "So what, you think you killed Earth? Even a hotshot like you can't take out a whole frakking planet, Starbuck. Now, frak a whole planet, maybe…"

She rolled her eyes at him, knowing he was simply trying to distract her, but going with it anyway. "Hey, you did your fair share of frakking before you became Mr. Family Man." She looked around. "Where are the ball and chain?"

"Sharon and Hera went back up to Galactica on the last shuttle." He met Starbuck's questioning gaze and slid an arm around her shoulders. "Couldn't leave you down here brooding alone."

Kara felt some of the tension leave her as she rested her head against his bicep. It'd been a long frakking day.

"I don't brood, OK?" she muttered, even though she'd been doing exactly that for the better part of four hours. "Besides, twenty cubits and a heaping handful of this radioactive soil says you've been loitering around here just dying to say it all day."

"Say what?"

"That I'm a frakking idiot for falling for a cylon and not having a clue." Her eyes flashed at him. "Go ahead, say you told me so. I know you wanna gloat. You've been waiting four years for this."

Helo chuckled and shook his head. "Not our fault. They're making toasters awfully pretty nowadays."

They looked at each other and said in unison, "Except Tigh."

Helo grinned a moment, but grew somber again as he studied her. "I know there's a lot going on, but you haven't reacted to the Sam thing the way I thought you would. No punching, no screaming, no gunfire. You alright?"

"Yeah, well, I haven't even reacted the way _I_ thought I would." Kara shrugged. "A few weeks ago, I would have been shooting first and asking questions later, but now…Gods, what's the point, you know?" She flung out a hand, indicating the barren wasteland surrounding them.

Kara's face was despairing, completely void of her usual fire. Helo tightened his arm around her, hugging her just a little, hopeful she'd let him get away with this bit of comfort.

"Sam says he didn't even find out, that his programming didn't activate or his circuits light up or whatever the frak happens to them, until I was gone." Kara sighed and rubbed a hand over her face, leaving streaks of sooty dirt on her skin. "I don't know. Maybe I just have a little more sympathy these days for not knowing what the frak you really are."

Helo wanted to say something, but he wasn't sure what would comfort her. He settled for wiping away a smudge of ash on her nose with his thumb. Frowning at the dirt, he reached over and wiped his finger on her shirt.

Kara looked at him like he'd lost his mind but Helo just grinned in that maddening way of his and waggled an eyebrow at her. Suddenly the absurdity of...well, everything..caught up with her. Kara felt the shell of numbness that had settled around her like a shroud ever since she'd stepped foot off the raptor crack, and she giggled. The giggles gave way to cackles and Helo joined in, the two of them rolling around on the barren earth and gasping for breath.

They lay there a moment, two old friends just looking at the brightness of the stars above.

Kara sighed. "Destiny really bites, you know that?"

"Ah, that reminds me." Helo sat up, reached into his flight suit and brought out two cigars. He lit them and handed one to Starbuck.

"What, you want to celebrate?" She cocked an eyebrow at him, pursing her lips in a what-the-frak grimace.

"Hell yeah," he smiled at her. "So Earth isn't all we hoped and dreamed it would be. So what? Nothing ever is, Kara. But we're here. We made it here. _You brought us here._ That's gotta count for something."

She sat up and looked at him, a slow measuring stare, and finally, Kara shook her head and smiled. She lifted the cigar to her lips, puffed, and exhaled slowly. She wondered idly if he'd been saving these since the first time the world ended. She hadn't smoked since…gods since before New Caprica. She sent a perfect smoke ring sailing off into the darkness and grinned. _Still got it._

"Karl?" Her voice sounded strong, more like herself now, in the empty night air. "Thanks."

Helo smiled and ruffled her hair.

"No one I'd rather spend the latest end of the world with, Starbuck."

--fin--


End file.
